Death's embarrassment
by redeyesofhell
Summary: complete humour no way tied with he manga or anime. I own nothing sorry


Maka Black*Star Soul and Tsubaki stood outside Liz had invited them over and despite being friends with its residents, Gallows Manor terrified them, with its bloody pikes sticking out with skulls right through and the dark aura surrounding the manor it terrified all. After some waiting Patty opened the door, she squealed, "Liz their here," Liz scowled and said, "Patty, Kid is sleeping in the next room please be quiet," Tsubaki blushed and said, "Um, maybe we can come back later," Liz shook her head and said, "No one ever visits so you might as well stay Kid can deal with it and we'll be quiet anyway," As Patty lead them into the family room Liz ran up to her, "Kid is sleeping in that room," Black*Star ran into the room and screamed seeing his self-proclaimed rival sleeping in his so called 'godly presence'. They ran to trace the scream only to see Black*Star preparing to shake Kid awake. Maka got a book and quickly Maka-chopped him. Patty grinned and said, "Let's explore Gallows!" Liz glanced at Patty in confusion. Patty explained "there were seven rooms Kid forbid us from entering his and his dad's room, an old game room, a library, a death sanctuary, and three other rooms let's visit them!" Black*Star grinned, "The mystery of Gallows let's see then!" he shouted, "We'll look if you be quiet those rooms are in the oldest parts of Gallows," Liz said suppressing a shudder "I don't like any of those rooms besides we need to drop Kid off in his bed," she continued gesturing toward the sleeping shinigami on the antique couch. Soul nodded and picked up Kid's light form. He stumbled, "Guys how much does Kid weigh?" Black*Star laughed, "He too heavy for you my weaker friend" "No he's light as hell!" Soul exclaimed using irritation to hide his worry, "He's like 31 kilograms! _**(I use kilograms not pounds so that should be around 70lbs)**_

Liz laughed and patted his back, "Shinigami survive on less food than most people so he eats less the only time he eats a human's amount is before a big mission and he's around 37 kilograms which Lord Death said was healthy for a shinigami of his age," she said to a blushing Soul. "Let's go already," Maka said annoyed at Soul. Kid squirmed in Soul's arms earning an 'aww' from the girls. Liz lead them through the halls, the deeper they went the older the walls looks and more gruesome it turned. Patty said, "Look it's Kid's room" sure enough an oak door with an inscription 'Death the Kidd' printed neatly on the center of the large door. Liz gulped and turned the knob but not before glancing at Kid to assure that he was in fact asleep-which is was, head tucked in the inside of Soul's elbow, practically snuggling into him for warmth. As the door creaked opened many winced as if prepared for a killer to pop out. His room was plain, but like all rooms in this corridor lacked electricity and so they lit two candles on each of Kid's side tables. His room was large and spacious which enhanced the lonely feel the room had. It contained a bed adjacent to the door it was black iron bed with silk bed sheets and a warm-looking quilt with a skull in the center with strangely enough a witch hat fitted snuggly on its head with a black background matching the bed sheets. On each side of the bed were black polished oak side tables. On each table was a clock, a candle, a photo, and a book, however the photos were different and...not very symmetrical to each other. One was yellowed with age it showed a young Kidd with Lord Death and some lady whom they didn't know; the other showed Kidd with all of them which made them feel guilty for snooping. Soul removed the quilt while Tsubaki removed his skull and jacket along with his belt. Soul then put Kidd in the center while Liz tucked him in and Patty kissed his forehead. Behind the bed was a large window covered with Black silk curtains. There was also one dresser on the walls around the bed. They tip-toed out before Maka blurted out, "Who was that girl next to Lord Death?" Patty said, "Kidd's mom" "Really?" She shrugged in response to the question. They snuck into Lord Death's room and it was an exact replica right down to the photos only opposed to the group picture Lord Death had him with all the Death Scythes and Sensei's at the DWMA. Only the bed was made as opposed to occupied like Kidd's was. They walked out into the library and when they approached the Death Sanctuary Liz said, "No human can enter Only Kidd and Lord Death can, the room hates all things in this world right down to clothing piercings and jewelry," so they went to one unnamed room which turned out to be a meditation/ miscellaneous room that was surprisingly neat despite the name. The next one was similar to Kid and Lord Deaths only in Witch skull on the quilt was a skull with red eyes, and the photos had one of Lord Death, the woman, Kidd, but the other had a child wrapped in scarves and coats in place of Kidd. The room was faded terribly. _**(To whoever couldn't figure it out this is Asura's old room)**_ They quickly left the creepy room. "These are the last two rooms," Black*Star muttered happily, Maka shivered that room scared her. They opened the door it had a large table made of oak with a large box in the corner filled with games the opposite corner had a identical box filled with old papers that looked important so they put it down and left the old game/work room. They opened the door facing it and saw what looked like a gory child's room. Big iron crib, no windows, 2 chest one filled with books and photos the other filled with toys and baby clothes to little kid clothes. They turned to leave, but crashed into a male's chest they looked up it was Lord Death and behind him was Death the Kidd who looked none too pleased. "What are all these rooms?" Maka asked before quickly describing each room. "Do not go in the Death Sanctuary it is similar to the Death room meaning it's a pocket dimension, but that dimension only allows shinigami inside it will kill anyone else. The first room was Kid's, then mine, then the library, the death sanctuary, and as you called it a meditation/ miscellaneous room, Kidd's older brother's room, a game/work room, and this one the nursery which is where Kidd and his older brother spent the first 20 years of their life before being moved into new rooms for bigger kids. "The woman in the picture...who was she?" Tsubaki asked. "Death Gods normally do not have children do to the fact of their life is longer than any other being aside from _some _ witches; Kidd's mother was a witch, the queen witch in fact, Lady Maaba a dear friend of mine as well as rival.

_**(Spoiler warning: I know for a fact Kid was created from a part of Death's soul as was Asura, but I figured it was similar to cloning so they needed a womb for the child to grow in so I figured Maaba is the only Female close enough to Death's age and possibly Death himself and I hate OC's and I figured the clone thing was a mouthful so let's just say Maaba was that woman as well as Kidd and Asura's nanny/mother/wet nurse okay I know it's not accurate)**_

Everyone gasped while Patty rolled on the floor laughing. "That's why the skulls had a witch hat on them," Maka gasped in realization before blushing professionally at the image burned in her mind. Kidd asked, "If you wanted to look around you could have asked, Liz Patty if you go in these rooms again without my permission I will have to suspend all your shopping and zoo trips, that was rude and those rooms are private and quite personal to Father and I," Kidd warned/ explained. Lord Death laughed and called Spirit over via mirror, "Kidd curiosity is a great weapon mankind posses and I do agree it was rude-" the group flinched waiting for punishment. "-it was ruder that they never asked," he strolled over to the book/photo chest and pulled 2 albums out. He gestured them to come forward and he allowed the mirror to show past moment of a young Kidd Death and Maaba including a rather embarrassing feeding session with Maaba and Kid. Kid wailed, "Why am I getting punished for them snooping," Spirit laughed and said, "Father's do this to remember precious moments, the embarrassing ones are payback for Diaper duty," Lord Death nodded his head in agreement, "Oh I loved Kidd growing up he had the cutest b..." "Stripes!" Kidd yelled trying to avoid further embarrassment upon himself. "So Kidd's part witch," Maka whispered in awe Black*Star grinned, "If I kill Kidd I get to prove my strength and a death scythe..."He yelled "Tsubaki cursed sword-" He was knocked out when a glove slammed on his head. Death said, "Kidd was birthed from Maaba, but he is not a witch as-","Father stop!" Kidd yelled blushing so hard he passed out.

Kid awoke in his bed. "It was all a dream," he thought in relief, He sees Maaba standing near the door, "You might wanna get up soon Death is onto your first skateboard and it only gets worse with the descriptive words," Maaba told Kidd causing him to jump out of bed running out the door while yelling, "Thanks for the tip Honorable Mother-ah I mean Maaba-sama" Kidd blushed at his tongue slip while rushing out the door. Maaba smiled, technically Kidd shared no genetics with Maaba only being carried, birthed, feed, and cared for by her; but Maaba hadn't the heart to tell him especially since Kidd and Death considered her family. Asura, poor boy did not take the news well at all, but that was the first time Kidd ever called her Honorable Mother due to her rank he addressed her all times previously as -san, -sama, or just Maaba, even if it was a mistake that reminds her... "KID DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AGAIN IT'S MAABA-SAMA! the one-eyed witch yelled chasing the boy, who chased his dad, who giggled and ran with his son's panicked weapons leaving the others gaping all silently thinking, "These people are creepier than the house, I'm definitely not coming near the Gallows' manor again!" except poor Black*Star who was still out cold on the floor of the creepy manor with creepier residents.


End file.
